So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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