Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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