Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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