i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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