You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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