dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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