My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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