I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
