If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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