oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
