Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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