You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i think im in europe. pls send help
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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