Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize