The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
