I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
