In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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