Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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