Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
