Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize