I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
