Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
