What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
