I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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