he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize