Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
