Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
