At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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