I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
