Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
