Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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