Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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