Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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