Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize