If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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