I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
