i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
