I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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