You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
