I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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