I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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