Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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