I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
