You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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