that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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