thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize