Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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