Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize