I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
