420 ftw
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
