She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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