I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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