i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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