I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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