It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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