She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it's like iHOP with fire
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
