he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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