I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
