I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
