opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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