Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
