if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
