but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
